where to ask?

ahir ahir ini, md lagi keseringan ditanyain orang orang tentang Islam. bukan intentionally, tapi by luck.
dulu2 sih Tristan pernah nanya soal Islam dan blah blah blah.. trus pas coctail party kemaren juga dia nanya lagi soal Islam dan hukum2nya. Shelley pernah nanya "do muslim have Christmas?" [geezz... how to answer this when they have different concept of God. sorry.. our God does not beget or begetted *is that how you write it? :p*]. hari ini, md ketemu Alex, accidentally. as the conversation flow tiba2 nyampe jadi ngomongin Islam and all its rules. ga ngerasa sebagai orang yg tepat untuk menjawab smua pertanyaan mereka, md menjawab sekedapetnya. sesuai dengan interpretasi md, dan sesuai dengan apa yg bisa md sampaikan sama mereka.
Tristan: he admitted that he's atheist. macam pertanyaan: mulai dari drinks, no pork, hell and heaven and who goes to hell and who goes to heaven. biarpun topicnya kya gituh.. tapi obrolannya mendetail.. ampe md jangar ngejawab manusia ini.
Alex: he admitted that he's agnostic. macam pertanyaan: mulai dari yg standar; why no pork, no alcohol, sampe ke vital sperti hukum pernikahan in Islam, who goes to heaven and who goes to hell, relationship b/w muslim dan non-muslim, hijab, and many more. we have 2 hours mutual and informative conversation today. I was really tired with those heavy questions.
Merasa bukanlah pakar dalam menjawab sgalanya dan takut men-judge orang lain. md menjawab seketauan md dan sesuai dengan md dan dengan selalu menambahkan "well, at least ME... or in MY opinion... or well, I think.... or.. MY interpretation is" dan blah blah blah.
you can never judge people cause it is not your part to do so. I can never judge people based on my values because I can only understand my value. Since everyone have different sets of value, I can not easily observe people who has different values and judge them based on my values, because obviously that doesnt match.
my value should be based on The Koran [Al-Quran], and my culture. I can only tell them what my values are, and why. hffffff... and all of them said: "it is not easy to understand when you were being brought up with different set of values and when you know their logical thinking.. it makes sense. It's just different and so new that you feel weird"
and and by the way, they all said "I've been learning some religions, and I think Islam is what most fascinates me. so, sorry if I keep asking about your religion" hay mate, anytime!

huffff.. it is hard enough to beribadah di Western country. It is harder to hold onto your belief in an environment where people do the opposite. It is even harder to tell curious people about what you valued most and carefully explain it to them how it works... especially when your knowledge is NOTHING.
ow, and one more thing.
Alex said: how does it feel to be a muslim.. you know. about those whole lots of things? I mean, when you met muslims and they told you that they are muslims, and you're like..... *insert THAT look.. cautious and you know.. that kind of thing.. amazed and feel dettached at the same time.. aaahh.. those prejudice look!*... how do you feel?
Manda: is that really what happened? I dont know, I always been a muslim *I hope*, so I dont know what people think about muslim, you know what I mean?! but I dont care. If they're afraid or at least intimidated with me being a muslim, well, that's not my problem. I'm not doing any harm to them, and I'm cool with how I am now. so why shud I care.
Alex: fair enuff... yeah.. well, I dont look at you like that.. but you know.. its been around since.. ever.
Manda: yeah.. sure. I understand that.

dan conversation terus berlanjut. I might have another conversation with anyone that I dont know. God, help me. at least help me think in English when they ask about this important thing.
God, never leave me... Please.
untukMu aku hidup dan untukMu aku mati
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz