infamous male and female stories

the subject of these stories are disclosed as a privacy protection and preventive act from subject of defamation law

1. bourke st and swanston st corner. female(f) crossing the road not realising the walking sign is RED. male(m), followed from behind;
   m: becareful!
   f: ow.. i didnt realise. thanks anyway
   m: [trying to start a conversation]where are you going?
   f: home
   m: why in a rush?
   f: got something todo
   m&f sedikit basa basi for a couple of q&a session
   m: well, its weekend, why dont we spend sometimes over coffee? or somewhere?
   f: [shocked,.. 'who the hell is this guy.. sh*t'].. uh oh.. no thanks.. i really have to go.. that's my tram. thanks anyway.
   bye
   m: alrite.. thats okay. [left and again cross the street. prolly to get a new prey]


2. at work place. f&m working together..
   m: wanna go see movie? I'll take you to starwars. as a reward for finishing you assignment.
   f: I promise my frend to watch that with HIM.
   m: humm... how bout other movie?
   f: mm.. i dunno. later.
   
   m: hey, lets go watch batman
   f: I dont like BATMAN.
   m: what do you like then?
   f: I dont know [obviously not YOU, poohead!]


3. at the corner of elizabeth st and bourke st [geezz.. carefull for bourke st!!]. female walking by herself. male come to her and wave;
   f: yes?
   m: i just saw you in front of fitnessfirst, and i dunno i just thought i'd like to introduce myself to you..
   f: okay..
   [they swap names]
   m: where ya goin?
   f: oh. i got appointment with the customercare..blahblah.. in ten minutes
   m: ow.. okay.. [start telling stories about his previous relationship and how he thinks f is attractive and blah blah blah]
   f: thanks
   m: how bout coffee?
   f: i've got an appointment
   m: hmm.. can I contact you in someways? email? or number?
   f: .. hmm.. sorry. this is strange. i dont know you..
   m: well, ask me questions.. please... at least email. i dont normally do this either.
   f: mm.. sorry.. i'm not taking the risk. i gotta go. thanks anyway. i'll prolly bump in to you in the city. i dunno. sorry. gotta go. thx


4. going out with some mates.. bowling. m approaching f. after a warm and fuzzy conversation.. with laugh here and there
   m: I know i just knew you. but i think you're a cool chick.
   f: thanks. whats that suppose to mean?
   m: hmm.. naaah. i just think youre cool. I like you..
   f: oh.. thanks.
   m: can i ask you sumthin?
   f: yes?
   m: do you mind if i ask you out? you know.. just you me?
   f: err... i dont think I want it. sorry
   m: common.. nothing to loose..
   f: well, its my turn now (bowling.. and she try to avoid any conversation with him the whole night)


5. in a taxi. late night. after couple of conversation just to break the silence. when they arrived at f's house:
   taxi driver: there we go.. hmm.. can i ask you sumthin?
   f: yes? [while pulling her purse to get the money]
   taxi driver: can I call you?
   f: no. but thanks for askin' [pay and leave as soon as possible]. bye


6. in a tram. approaching flinders st station. f standing infront of the automatic door. m approaching
   m: nice watch
   f: ha?
   m: to go with beautiful face too
   f: thanks
   m: where ya from? [couple of unnecessary q&a session here]
   m: are you working too
   f: yea, on my way. at a ....
   m: ow.. when's your shift?
   f: in an hour. but I'm going to see someone
   m: ow. coz I thought, before serving coffee youself.. we can have cup of coffees together. how long have you seen him? [assuming the someone f's going to see is "HIM" or.. i dunno]
   f: [confused? but relief he thinks she's SEEING someone.. hahaha] ow.. couple of months
   m: [trying to get new info.. about this "HIM".. ]
   m: how bout next time lets have some coffee?
   f: i'm seeing someone [keukeuh.. nipu]
   m: as a friend?
   f: sorry. thanks.
   m: okay.. i appreciate that.

sh*t.. hati hati lah dengan langkahmu. basta*d everywhere. becarefull.
these are just compact stories.. 'as short as possible' version. but hell.. subjects of these stories are different. (at least the m)
hiiiiiiiiii..... this is scarier than ghost or demon.
watch your step.

moral of stories:
1. spare your smile. do not smile sembarangan!
2. just say "I'm seeing someone" or "I have a boyfriend"
3. or simply say "no" without "sorry" or tedeng aling aling
4. dont believe anything they say
5. never give your number, your address, even your email address
6. get a real boyfriend! hahahahaha