the family i dont know

is my own family.
supposedly.. we were bound by blood running through our veins
yet.. we know nothing bout each one of us
well, at least that's how i feel.
i used to feel ashame bout my dad's job.. until i went through some 'simulations' of what his job is all about and amazed by his patient and loyalty no matter how hard it was, is and will be for him.
i used to feel annoyed by my mum who's overprotected and nags on me almost everytime she has the time or anytime she can find or steal from her everchanging schedule... until i have my sister coming to visit me.
I have her on my side almost every single second. and yet I cant stop feeling worried. every. single. second. is she bored? is she hungry? is she worried? is she okay? what does she want? what does she like? how does she feel? I started to think that, mum. prolly. feels. worse! I spent every second with my sister yet i'm worried every single second. how bout mum? i spent almost 2/3 of my life without mum besides me. how worried can she be? and yet, I hate it everytime she worried about me. oh mum..
i have been and still hate my brother. no. explanation. havent been through what he had been. and i dont want to.
i never tried starting a good and friendly relationship with my sister. I only talk when I want to bully her. until couple year ago. I started to want it. and yet. i didnt know until now. she's quiet coz she's patient, reserved, sensitive and polite. for almost the whole time she lives, I never give her a 'good' feeling or memories. maybe its time to start.
maybe its time to start to know the family that i dont know.
its the family that i will always come back to
and its the family that will never reject me
its MY family